Sacrifice

In Genesis 22, there is an account of Abraham which I find interesting. Isaac was Abraham's son, the son of Sarah and heir to the promise from God. Abraham had placed all of his hopes, dreams, desires and faith in Isaac, this boy of promise. Born in his old age when it seemed impossible, Isaac was the evidence of God working in Abraham and fulfilling His promise to him. Yet, one day God up and asks Abraham to take Isaac and offer him up as a sacrifice. Although it does not mention it, I am almost sure that Abraham's human nature would be coming to the forefront here. Here was this boy in whom all of these hopes and dreams were wrapped up in and God was asking him to give him up. Abraham was asked to give up, to sacrifice his very hopes and dreams, all of his desires, to Him. There had to be a sense of "What the heck, God?! Why are you asking this of me? Why are you putting me in this position? Why are you, after giving me what I have so sought for, taking it away from me?" I'm almost positive these thoughts crossed Abraham's mind when he heard this request. Yet, even in this midst of this confusing request, he still packed up and set out with Isaac, preparing to give the boy over to Him.

Abraham placed his whole faith in God, trusting that He knew what He was doing in asking for such a thing. I'm sure during those few days of journeying out he kept thinking through these things, either hoping to hear God say that that was good enough and that He had something else in mind or that He had some miraculous way of working through this circumstance and still fulfilling His promise. Yet, no word was spoken to him. So he kept on traveling forward, staying faithful to what God had asked. Abraham remained faithful to the very end, even taking laying hold of the knife so that he could kill his son, his desire, his love, his hope and future. Abraham put God above and beyond his own hopes and dreams. He was willing to sacrifice them for His sake.

As some might know, the end of this account ends happily. God stops Abraham before he strikes and tells him that He is satisfied, that He sees he would not even hold back his own desires from Him. God was first and foremost in Abraham's life. While I do not have son nor do I have some outstanding promise made to me from above, I do feel at times that I am facing a similar call. This past semester, as has been observed, has been one of constant stripping away for me. My hopes, dreams, desires and plans for the future have been continually stripped away. At times I feel like everything I hope for is taken away from me. And I am left asking "Why, God?" Why does it seem like I cannot have anything that I want? Why does it seem like life continues to work out for every other person except me? Where is the peace towards life which I so desire? Things I hoped for have fallen away. Plans for the future have run to nothing. I am facing a future fully unknown within the next few weeks. But then I consider Abraham...

He was willing to hand all over to Him, finding his peace in the knowledge that God was in control and that He did have a plan, even if he was not privy to this plan. Even in the midst of what had to be mental and emotional anguish over the loss of what he held so dear, Abraham still handed Isaac over to God. I don't know what will come of these current situations. I find it difficult at times to even see how God could want to do anything with me. The light at the end of the tunnel is hard to see, especially in the midst of the confusion. I must ask myself, then, which is greater in my life. My desires and hopes or God? Which is it going to be? I know that my story may not play out like Abraham's, in the end reclaiming what I was willing to lose. Yet, I have faith that by surrendering my all, I will find peace. I must place my faith in Him. He will lead me to where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing with whom I need to be with. I cannot see it know. In fact, I can't even grasp how I can reach this place. But I have faith that there is such a place, and it can only be found in Him.

So, I surrender, Lord. I lay my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my plans... my very essence... once more at your feet as a sacrifice of love. Life sucks at times, right now, but I trust that You will guide me through these pains and unknowns. Here I am, Father, laid bare at Your feet. Take me and do what You will.