Prayer of the Heart

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

-Philippians 4:4-9

Lord, I find this a challenge at times. I find it hard to display the joy and peace when things seem so chaotic and uncertain. I find it hard not to be anxious when I look ahead in life and the only light I see at the end of the tunnel is the light from the freight train called life chugging ahead at full speed toward me. I submit myself to You in prayer and if feels like no answer is coming. I ask for peace and I ask for assurance, but still You seem to remain silent. I want to crawl up in to arms, Father, and find myself at home, but I can't seem to even find Your arms.

Even though my heart has grown weak from the repeated disappointments, let downs, sorrow and pain, it hasn't quite given up. Admittedly, it certainly wants to, on a regular basis. Yet, I know that You are still present and working... or at least, my hope tells me that You are. Acceptance of this current state of affairs does not come easy. In fact, I am normally quite unsatisfied with the turns life has decided to take. But I trust that You do have... something in mind, something that You can use these circumstances for.

So, here's my heart, Father; broken, bleeding, and desolate as it is. I believe that You will move through these current circumstances and that You will somehow bring good. While I cannot see it at all, I know that You are moving and working. So, here am I. Take me as I am. And don't leave me the same.