Sacrifice. That seems to be Your word for the day. i have grown up hearing about sacrifice. "Give all that you have over to God. When you do, you will find joy and happiness. Life will be so much better." Well, i'm facing sacrifice in different areas of my life, and i'm finding myself wondering what good could come from giving all. Cause it sure hurts to let go. Especially when You seem to pick those things which mean so much. You have such a great habit of choosing that which i hold so dear.
i feel that i've let go of so much for You. i've abandoned myself to follow You and let You guide my life. i've put my trust in You and walked by faith, looking to you for provision. i've left home and family due to Your guiding. and now i'm facing even more sacrifice because of Your calling. And i just want to yell out, "Why!?" Why do You ask for so much? Why are You so persistent in chasing down everything i grow attached to and asking for it?
But then, i calm down and seek for Your peace. And i hear that still small whisper of Yours. After i've thrown my fists and did my shouting, You then speak up. You say You know the pain. You say You know how hard this can be. But then You ask that i just continue to trust You, and to continue to give myself over to You. You're in control, You know what You're doing. And You won't abandon me. No matter what, You remain. i mean, shoot, once all is given up, You're the only thing left, aren't You? And maybe that's what i need right now. Just to find myself in Your presence. i've forgotten You, and now need to find You once more.
So speak, Lord God. Speak, Father, into my current circumstances. Be my guiding light and let Your Spirit be my guide. Teach me, mold me and leave me changed. You gave Your all for me. Now i need to be willing to do the same. So i sacrifice myself once more, throwing myself down at Your feet. Let Your will be done once more.
i love You.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Looking to Jesus
So, tonight I had a learning moment happen which I just wanted to share with you all. After work today, I was going along my normal routine of heading out of the Steeple and walking home. I had my hood up so as to attempt to stay dry as the nice steady rains of Scotland streamed down onto the ground. On my way, though, I passed someone sitting along the side of a store front. Upon looking to her, I realized it was one of the girls from Hot Chocolate. I had talked to her recently, so I thought I'd strike up a wee bit of conversation with her.
Now, please note this was after a full day of working and actually having a group session with some... harder guys. So, I was pretty tired at this point of time. But I stopped anyway and started talking to this girl. She told me that she was waiting on some of her mates to show up, but they were late. After a second of thinking, I realized I didn't have anything better to do so I offered to sit with her and wait. So, I pulled up some pavement and took a seat with her. And we just got to talk. And we talked about a lot of things; ranging from comedians to places in America that she wanted to visit. It was generally a really good chat. Throughout it some other friends of hers showed up and chatted for a bit while smoking a cig for a wee bit. And later on some other people from the Steeple stopped by and joined us for a bit. But I just sat there, in the cold while it the rain and smell of nicotine floated around us, for about an hour. And it was great.
Please don't think I'm just trying to toot my own horn here. I'm not. But this little event led to some great thinking as I left for home. While sitting there talking, I was able to watch people walk by us. And to the rest of the crowd, we seemed to mean nothing. We were a group of young people sitting around. Some just didn't pay us any mind. Others purposefully ignored us. No matter the reaction, one thing was certain. We had gained a stereotype. We were youth. Out for a good time. Most likely we shouldn't be trusted, or at least paid attention to. But sitting there, just chatting with them, I realized I was doing the exact thing Jesus would be doing.
He sought to break the social norms of the current culture. Many of the religious leaders of the time didn't want anything to do with those "heathens", "sinners" and "unclean" people. They were comfortable to stay where they had always been. Yet Christ fought this. He went to the need. He talked to those that society passed over or didn't trust. He entered into their world and met them on the same level. He did life with them. Sitting there on the pavement, it just hit me. I'm sitting here hanging with some of the people that the current culture (and especially the church) would view as rebellious and troublesome. And I was happy and at peace with them. I was doing the exact same act that my Lord would be doing. Just sharing life and love through action.
Like I said, this was just a really cool little revelation I had. Nothing big. And please don't think I'm trying to pump myself up. It was a really cool thought and experience that I had. I just wanted to share it with you all. And to challenge you as I challenge myself. Don't look at the social tags being put on people. Instead, look past that outer facade and look to the person inside the cultural stereotype. It's then that we can start seeing everyone as Christ sees them.
Peace.
Now, please note this was after a full day of working and actually having a group session with some... harder guys. So, I was pretty tired at this point of time. But I stopped anyway and started talking to this girl. She told me that she was waiting on some of her mates to show up, but they were late. After a second of thinking, I realized I didn't have anything better to do so I offered to sit with her and wait. So, I pulled up some pavement and took a seat with her. And we just got to talk. And we talked about a lot of things; ranging from comedians to places in America that she wanted to visit. It was generally a really good chat. Throughout it some other friends of hers showed up and chatted for a bit while smoking a cig for a wee bit. And later on some other people from the Steeple stopped by and joined us for a bit. But I just sat there, in the cold while it the rain and smell of nicotine floated around us, for about an hour. And it was great.
Please don't think I'm just trying to toot my own horn here. I'm not. But this little event led to some great thinking as I left for home. While sitting there talking, I was able to watch people walk by us. And to the rest of the crowd, we seemed to mean nothing. We were a group of young people sitting around. Some just didn't pay us any mind. Others purposefully ignored us. No matter the reaction, one thing was certain. We had gained a stereotype. We were youth. Out for a good time. Most likely we shouldn't be trusted, or at least paid attention to. But sitting there, just chatting with them, I realized I was doing the exact thing Jesus would be doing.
He sought to break the social norms of the current culture. Many of the religious leaders of the time didn't want anything to do with those "heathens", "sinners" and "unclean" people. They were comfortable to stay where they had always been. Yet Christ fought this. He went to the need. He talked to those that society passed over or didn't trust. He entered into their world and met them on the same level. He did life with them. Sitting there on the pavement, it just hit me. I'm sitting here hanging with some of the people that the current culture (and especially the church) would view as rebellious and troublesome. And I was happy and at peace with them. I was doing the exact same act that my Lord would be doing. Just sharing life and love through action.
Like I said, this was just a really cool little revelation I had. Nothing big. And please don't think I'm trying to pump myself up. It was a really cool thought and experience that I had. I just wanted to share it with you all. And to challenge you as I challenge myself. Don't look at the social tags being put on people. Instead, look past that outer facade and look to the person inside the cultural stereotype. It's then that we can start seeing everyone as Christ sees them.
Peace.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Terror on the Trains
I feel a nice orange color is in order here. Sorry all for my lack of blogging recently. It seems I feel behind a wee bit. Things are starting to get nice and busy here. Things are really picking up here at Hot Chocolate. The youth work side of things is getting nice and active, which makes me happy. In fact, last week I had my first 1-on-1 session, which is really really exciting. A 1-on-1 is just like it sounds. I spend end up meeting with one of the young people and chatting with them, covering some possible specifics and just checking up with their lives. And I have another one tomorrow! I'm excited. And things are looking great here. I've got a couple of groups with some lads starting up soon and hopefully more 1-on-1's. So yeah. I'm pretty active right now.
Beyond that, things are going swell. I actually just got back from a really good weekend away. Every year there is a big Christian festival called Greenbelt which takes place on a race track. There's a lot of speakers, music gigs, and other art-type things which take place. And I got the opportunity to go this year! It was so exciting. And really good/ challenging. There were a lot of really good speakers there that I got to hear. And really challenging. I didn't necessarily agree with everything said, but it was really great to hear new opinions and new views on my faith. To give you a better understanding, many of the people I got to hear might be counted as part of the emerging church or labeled as more liberal in their thinking. And I have to admit, at first I had a hard time getting past the label. Once I did get past my pre-established views and allowed myself to openly hear what they had to say, I really started to appreciate what was said. Yes, I may not agree fully with them, but I still can learn, grow and think about what they have to say. I'd love to share some of it with you, but at this point I'm still processing a lot of it. Maybe if you ask me, I can share with you directly and try and work out what I'm thinking with you. That's always fun.
But the festival itself wasn't the only learning point in my trip. I also had a great learning experience on non-other than the great form of public transportation here commonly called the train. You see, it seems that I don't fully understand how trains work here. I seem to keep always having problems. I missed my first train on the way down. On it's way, it got detoured due to vandalism. Someone apparently took off with some train cables. Props to them for getting them by the by... And on the way back I had the same type of journey. I was all set to go. I got to the bus stop with plenty of time to spare to get to the station. And I happily sat and waited. And waited. And waited. Then, I found out that Monday was a holiday here and the buses didn't come to that stop. Good to know. But, in my frantic searching for a way to the station, a kind soul found me and offered me a ride. So, I jumped in with the guy and took off to the station. And then we got lost on the way. It seems neither of us knew where the station was. In the end, I did miss my train. Again. But I was able to train hop all the way back up to Dundee. What I learned, though, is that I need to become more flexible in how I approach things. I so easily fall into keeping with my set plans that if anything messes with them, I get bent out of shape. At first I was pretty stressed out. But once I missed my train and started thinking of things, I realized something. I was really getting stressed over nothing. Sure, I missed my train. For the second time. But the world wasn't ending. I would make it back to Dundee. And I can have myself a little adventure. And that is something that I think God is trying to get out of my system. I need to learn to be willing to have my schedule interrupted. Yeah, planning is good. But once it dominates how I operate, I'm sunk. I need to be willing to let go of my preconceived ideas and just let things go as they will.
So yeah. That was my big weekend. Lots of new thoughts. And lots of thinking I still have yet to do. And I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. Lots of great youth worky things happening. And I get to take a small holiday at the end of September. It seems that I have been presented by my girlfriend (who is currently in Northern Ireland) with a chance to go with her and a few other friends on a small holiday. They came across some really cheap plane tickets, so we jumped on the chance and are now heading out at the end of the month to none other than....drumroll please..... Paris! Yep, Paris. I'm pretty excited for that. What a great opportunity to do while I'm here. So yeah... excitement for that.
Beyond all that, things are going great. Keep praying all for the continued youth work here at Hot Chocolate. Things are great, but prayer is always good. And keep praying for me. I don't have much of an update on things. Keep praying for my involvement with the youth, especially meaningful times during my 1-on-1's. And also, for continued finances. Things like the festival and Paris do cost money, but God keeps providing funds from the most amazing places for these things. So keep praying that His provision will continue and that all will be provided for.
Anywho, that's me in a nutshell. Hope all is well with you. Drop me a line if you feel like it. I love hearing from everyone back home. It's nice staying posted on what's happening elsewhere. For now, I head off to relax for a wee bit before heading to bed. I'm completely knackered (extremely tired).
Peace all and much love!
Beyond that, things are going swell. I actually just got back from a really good weekend away. Every year there is a big Christian festival called Greenbelt which takes place on a race track. There's a lot of speakers, music gigs, and other art-type things which take place. And I got the opportunity to go this year! It was so exciting. And really good/ challenging. There were a lot of really good speakers there that I got to hear. And really challenging. I didn't necessarily agree with everything said, but it was really great to hear new opinions and new views on my faith. To give you a better understanding, many of the people I got to hear might be counted as part of the emerging church or labeled as more liberal in their thinking. And I have to admit, at first I had a hard time getting past the label. Once I did get past my pre-established views and allowed myself to openly hear what they had to say, I really started to appreciate what was said. Yes, I may not agree fully with them, but I still can learn, grow and think about what they have to say. I'd love to share some of it with you, but at this point I'm still processing a lot of it. Maybe if you ask me, I can share with you directly and try and work out what I'm thinking with you. That's always fun.
But the festival itself wasn't the only learning point in my trip. I also had a great learning experience on non-other than the great form of public transportation here commonly called the train. You see, it seems that I don't fully understand how trains work here. I seem to keep always having problems. I missed my first train on the way down. On it's way, it got detoured due to vandalism. Someone apparently took off with some train cables. Props to them for getting them by the by... And on the way back I had the same type of journey. I was all set to go. I got to the bus stop with plenty of time to spare to get to the station. And I happily sat and waited. And waited. And waited. Then, I found out that Monday was a holiday here and the buses didn't come to that stop. Good to know. But, in my frantic searching for a way to the station, a kind soul found me and offered me a ride. So, I jumped in with the guy and took off to the station. And then we got lost on the way. It seems neither of us knew where the station was. In the end, I did miss my train. Again. But I was able to train hop all the way back up to Dundee. What I learned, though, is that I need to become more flexible in how I approach things. I so easily fall into keeping with my set plans that if anything messes with them, I get bent out of shape. At first I was pretty stressed out. But once I missed my train and started thinking of things, I realized something. I was really getting stressed over nothing. Sure, I missed my train. For the second time. But the world wasn't ending. I would make it back to Dundee. And I can have myself a little adventure. And that is something that I think God is trying to get out of my system. I need to learn to be willing to have my schedule interrupted. Yeah, planning is good. But once it dominates how I operate, I'm sunk. I need to be willing to let go of my preconceived ideas and just let things go as they will.
So yeah. That was my big weekend. Lots of new thoughts. And lots of thinking I still have yet to do. And I'm looking forward to the next few weeks. Lots of great youth worky things happening. And I get to take a small holiday at the end of September. It seems that I have been presented by my girlfriend (who is currently in Northern Ireland) with a chance to go with her and a few other friends on a small holiday. They came across some really cheap plane tickets, so we jumped on the chance and are now heading out at the end of the month to none other than....drumroll please..... Paris! Yep, Paris. I'm pretty excited for that. What a great opportunity to do while I'm here. So yeah... excitement for that.
Beyond all that, things are going great. Keep praying all for the continued youth work here at Hot Chocolate. Things are great, but prayer is always good. And keep praying for me. I don't have much of an update on things. Keep praying for my involvement with the youth, especially meaningful times during my 1-on-1's. And also, for continued finances. Things like the festival and Paris do cost money, but God keeps providing funds from the most amazing places for these things. So keep praying that His provision will continue and that all will be provided for.
Anywho, that's me in a nutshell. Hope all is well with you. Drop me a line if you feel like it. I love hearing from everyone back home. It's nice staying posted on what's happening elsewhere. For now, I head off to relax for a wee bit before heading to bed. I'm completely knackered (extremely tired).
Peace all and much love!
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