Friday, September 25, 2009

A Prayer of a Ben

Sacrifice. That seems to be Your word for the day. i have grown up hearing about sacrifice. "Give all that you have over to God. When you do, you will find joy and happiness. Life will be so much better." Well, i'm facing sacrifice in different areas of my life, and i'm finding myself wondering what good could come from giving all. Cause it sure hurts to let go. Especially when You seem to pick those things which mean so much. You have such a great habit of choosing that which i hold so dear.

i feel that i've let go of so much for You. i've abandoned myself to follow You and let You guide my life. i've put my trust in You and walked by faith, looking to you for provision. i've left home and family due to Your guiding. and now i'm facing even more sacrifice because of Your calling. And i just want to yell out, "Why!?" Why do You ask for so much? Why are You so persistent in chasing down everything i grow attached to and asking for it?

But then, i calm down and seek for Your peace. And i hear that still small whisper of Yours. After i've thrown my fists and did my shouting, You then speak up. You say You know the pain. You say You know how hard this can be. But then You ask that i just continue to trust You, and to continue to give myself over to You. You're in control, You know what You're doing. And You won't abandon me. No matter what, You remain. i mean, shoot, once all is given up, You're the only thing left, aren't You? And maybe that's what i need right now. Just to find myself in Your presence. i've forgotten You, and now need to find You once more.

So speak, Lord God. Speak, Father, into my current circumstances. Be my guiding light and let Your Spirit be my guide. Teach me, mold me and leave me changed. You gave Your all for me. Now i need to be willing to do the same. So i sacrifice myself once more, throwing myself down at Your feet. Let Your will be done once more.

i love You.

2 comments:

Josh D. Addessi said...

Ben that was beautiful...it made eyes water a bit reading it. But how true it would seem that God places things and people in our lives, but then just as quickly they leave. It's all so inconsistent. Friendships fading...people coming and going, growing and changing. Yet in the chaos of it all we find the Lord's peace. For He is consistent. He's always there right beside us. No matter what. He will not fade when friendships do. And that's comforting to me. It's His way of shining light on the fact that He is God-that He has an unfathomable love to offer that no human can come close to...I'll be the first to say that it's so easy to put that love in the wrong places. In more tangible places. Just because it's easier. For to rely on a faith where we cannot physically see the one who we are putting out trust in is a challenge in and of itself. Pray for me, as I pray for you...to continue to emulate Chirst, and be there for each other as friends...I don't want to ever let go of that.

Your brother in Christ,

Josh

Matthew Cable said...

Ben, I love and respect you so much. I'm praying for you right now, that God would encourage you and remind you of His might. I love you, man!