Thought of the Day

I had a bit of a random conversation with someone today whilst I was out picking strawberries. He stopped and came out for a wee bit to chat and in the course of the conversation he ended up asking me what my plans were now that I've graduated. And I told him what I hope to see happen, such as getting something right now, such as an RD position or teaching English, so that I can pay off some debt and also be involved in some area that includes my passions. I then told him that my long term goal is to get school debt paid off so that I can look at going back to Europe, maybe around the UK, France, Spain, Italy, somewhere around western Europe, and working there. His comment after that kinda shook my outlook on these things. His reply was that it seemed like I was looking at getting away from here.

I'm not sure why, but that comment has stuck with me all day today. I suppose it is true. All of my options that I have been looking at involve leaving the area and leaving what I have grown up with. And in a way, I feel that I am okay with this. As I look at things right now, I have come to realize that it is time to move on. I have changed over the years and no longer fit the old roles that I once filled. While I love the people here and enjoy the things going on here, I find that it no longer is what drives me. As I look to my makeup and what really tugs at my heart, it involves heading out and working with people internationally, getting involved in teaching, discipleship and building relationships. These things are where my passions lie.

So, I suppose my friend was correct. I am looking at getting away from here. But I realized today that it's not because I hate it here (although at times there has been.... discontent and grief as I have seen that life here moved on and left me feeling in a limbo, unsure of where I fit or even what benefit I give, but that is a whole other topic...). There is no hate. There is a realization, though, that I need something to drive me in life, and it needs to come from tapping into those things which put that gleam in my eye. Now the question is finding that place where my passions are drawn out. That seems to be lacking as of late... I keep seeking some clarity from God in the midst of this fog which is my future but I'm still not seeing much. I hate to say it, since I keep hearing it and I get no comfort from it, but the only thing I have left to do is keep trusting in God. He's led me through uncertainty in the past, even when things seemed down and out. I need to keep believing that He's going to get me through this rough time of uncertainty too. He can do it. I just need to keep waiting on Him.

That was a random tangent, so I apologize. But that's what I get for reflecting on my friend's comment. My mind likes to take random paths. Anywho, I thought that was an interesting thought from today and I wanted to share.

Peace, dear friends.