Really?

As I've sat and pondered about life this week, something has dawned on me recently. I am really going to Scotland. I'm really going to Scotland. It just hit me this past week that this is real. I'm going to be flying out in a week from now and spending 7 months in Scotland. And as this thought enters my wee little head, another quickly follows it up. What the heck have I gotten myself into?

Looking ahead, the only thing I can see is a murky fog. (Sorry, I just watched Pirates of the Caribbean tonight, so if you get a lot of sailing analogies, that's why.) But I honestly do feel like I'm setting sail into a fog. I've started to put some thought into what I will be doing with my life here soon, and the only answer I'm coming up with is that I don't know. I have no idea what it is that I'm going to be doing, who I will be working with or even what the place I'm setting foot in is like. OK, that sounds bleak. And it's not that bad. I do have names and I have a general idea of what it is I will be working on. But, honestly, there are a lot of unknowns. I don't know any of the people I will be working with. I don't know where I'm living once I get there. (Doesn't bother me too much. It sounds like I have a short-term place to stay and that we'll be looking for something more once I get there.) I don't know any specifics with what my day-to-day activities will look like. And there's the culture of students I will be working with. I've come to learn that the type of students I will be interacting with at Hot Chocolate are... not what I am used to in my everyday life. Many are in to music and skateboarding, among other areas. Sadly, these areas of interest are not exactly ones I have a great deal of experience in. I want to be able to connect with them, but my knee-jerk response is that I won't be able to. I don't know these areas of interest. When I boil a lot of these thoughts down, it comes out to one short phrase: I simply don't know. And this has started to get me a slight bit anxious with a week to go before I head out.

Yet, as I take pause to process all of these uncertainties, another conclusion is reached. I am going to be going into the midst of complete discomfort for me. I'm stepping out of what is normal and comfortable and.... known to me and instead stepping into the unknown. I don't see what I'm stepping on to, but I do know what I'm stepping out on: faith. This whole process has been a big exercise in faith for me. I've had to completely trust God throughout the whole thing. And He has brought it all together. Looking at that, I can't help but acknowledge that He has something in store for me over there in the midst of all these unknowns. He's bringing me there for a reason. I just have to keep stepping forward. I'll be the first to admit that this is not going to be pleasant at times. But then, growth isn't always the most comfortable thing to experience. I'll just have to take it in stride. I'll never clear the fog if I don't sail off into it.

So, with these things in mind, I humbly ask that you continue to lift me up in your prayers as I head out. To give you an idea, here's some specifics that are on my mind.
- Safety in travels. I leave on July 9th, and I have a lot of stops on the way over. Pray for safety on all of these and that I have no problems making all of the connections.

-Relationships: fellow workers. I'm going to be working with these people for the next 7 months. Pray that I can get along great with them and make some solid connections with these people. So far they have been really supportive and excited for me to come. Pray that I remain open, instant connections are made and I am able to mesh right in and work hard alongside the other workers.

-Relationships: students. I also ask that you lift up my relationships with the students. One of my bigger worries is how the connections with these students will go. I'm going to be the outsider... in many different ways. Pray that these barriers are cast down and that I will be able to connect with the youth in incredible ways. Along with that, pray that I will be outgoing and willing to connect with them. When in unfamiliar settings, I like to hang back instead of applying myself. Pray that I can overcome this characteristic.

-Housing. I don't know where I'm living. I'd prefer somewhere besides a cardboard box. Those get drafty. Pray that I can find a long-term place to call home and that it's not very expensive. That is my biggest estimated cost. If I can get in with someone or have a very low cost place to stay, that would be a big blessing for me.

-Along with that, finances. I have had responses from people for support for this trip, and I am incredibly grateful for what people have sacrificed for me. I still though have a decent amount of money I'd like to have for the trip. So far God has provided in this area, as in all the other areas. Pray that He continues this trend and that the resources I need present themselves.

-Finally, pray for God to move in Scotland. Pray that the Holy Spirit can be unleashed in the lives of the students and that they can come to know Him more. And include me with this. I so desire to be used by Him during this time. I want to hear His voice and go where He guides me. Pray that I will continue to remain open to what He has in store, no matter how uncomfortable and stretching it is.

So, that's that. I'm heading out in a week. That is a very insane thought. But it is also exciting. I look forward to seeing how God grows me in the coming months. Thank you all again for your support and prayers. I leave you with a small picture I drew to celebrate my upcoming travels. That, and Josh kept telling me I needed to put artwork on this blog. So, I hope you enjoy it.

Blessings and Cheers all!