Freedom of Dependancy

Well, things seem to be going well here in Dundee. Exodus is going swimmingly, even though our plans are regularly struck down by the circumstances we find ourselves in. But that is the nature of the ministry, I suppose. But things are going great. I am getting used to the city, which is nice. I am feeling like I know my way around and get from one place to another. This probably means I'll be getting dropped in the middle of some place I haven't been yet and I'll have to find my way home again. For now, though, I am good.

Exodus, though, is going good. I have met lots of people and am slowly building relationships with them. I am still feeling wishing for more meaningful conversations, though. But, they will come. I am still getting used to this place. I mean, shoot, I have only been here for 2 1/2 weeks. I'm still adjusting. I am also told that there are many new faces being seen at the Steeple (where Hot Chocolate is located). This of course means these groups are bit more closed off to talking with volunteers. But it is exciting to have them there and to begin seeing them regularly.

Oh man.... I think I'll share this with you. Tonight has been a pleasant night. As I do some writing/ journaling, I have some great tunes playing. Things such as Josh Garrels, Iron and Wine, The Weepies, Over the Rhine and even Kyle Scott (friend of Beth's). It has been a good thing.

I feel that I am beginning to get a bit of insight into myself with the ministry happening here. I suppose that's a good thing, since that's one of the points of prime... But I am beginning to see how independent I have become. I feel like I haven't been really connecting with the young people, so I've been getting frustrated with my efforts. And that's when it hit me, like a 2x4 right between the eyes. It has been my efforts. I have been the one trying to connect and strike up conversations. Yet, especially in the nature of this relationship based ministry, I cannot do this myself. I need to let God be the one in complete control of all that I do. I need to learn to become even more flexible and attuned to the Spirit. His guiding will be what creates the connections here, not the efforts in my own strength. I need to become more dependent on He who is stronger.

Now, the thing is, this is easier said than done. There's a lot that needs to get worked out of my system. I like to be in control of myself. But I can't do that here. I need to be reliant on those around me and even more so with Him. So there's my kinda work-in-progress with myself. But seeing growth and being able to work towards it now is good. And it's encouraging because I am working in a place of hope and change. Yes, there is a great hardness in the people we work with. But there is also a great hope to be found and change is constantly happening. I just need to remember that I too need to be changing and growing. It does seem like by choosing to become dependent I will be giving away my freedom. But, I'm learning that independence may not always be the best thing. True freedom can be found when I have made myself dependent on God. And that is a freedom worth striving for.

For now, some prayer requests from me are:

-Exodus. things are going great. pray that they continue.
-continued growth and a willingness to change on my part.
-housing. i'm meeting my two possible flatmates this coming weekend. pray for wisdom and clarity on which place will be best for me.
-finances.

Much love, all.
Cheers!