In the Way of Sesame Street

In case you haven't realized this little fact, it is December. In fact, we are more than half way through December. For many of you, this little fact brings to mind that Christmas is just around the corner. As for myself, yes, this is a thought which is on my mind. Especially when I think about how different Christmas will be for me this year, being still out on PRIME and away from my family. But the thought that is really sitting on my mind when I think about the date is that my time here is so quickly running down. I have now entered into my final month here in Dundee.

It's weird for me to think about this little fact. I have really settled into my role here, living in Dundee and being capable of taking care of myself. Soon, though, my life will once more shifting. I will be packing up and preparing to enter back into the world of the U.S. This is a bit of an intimidating thought. I've been gone for a whole month. Lives have moved on since I was last there, as has mine. I've encountered situations and issues beyond what I had experienced previously. And I've grown from these encounters. I'm not the same as when I first set foot in Dundee. And life back home won't be the same either.

Life doesn't seem to like to stay stagnant for very long. Upon my return, I'm heading back to school. Then, in five months or so, I'll be entering into a whole new chapter of my life. This little thing called graduation is quickly approaching. After that, I will no longer have school in the fall to look forward to. With this in mind, I find myself quite intimidated by what is to come. It's like a big fog which my vision can't penetrate.

See, my life seems to have taken on the method of Sesame Street. Remember how each episode would be brought to you by a specific number and letter? They were the theme for the whole episode, being brought up at every possible moment by the characters until it was ingrained in your small impressionable mind. Well, I feel that my life has taken on a similar style of learning. Instead of a letter or number, I seem to have a word. And this word is: change.

Everywhere I look, I see change taking place. My thoughts, my opinions, my experiences, my relationships, my plans, my hopes, my dreams... most everything seems to keep getting touched by change. And with this change comes growth. Every experience works to better create me into the man that I need to be. Thing is... I have a hard time of seeing that end destination. I have no clue where God is taking me or what He's preparing me for. I kind of feel like I'm just along for the ride. And my jerk reaction is to get uptight, fearful and try to take back control. But, when I actually take time to think, I realize that's the worst thing I could be doing. God is in control. He's guided me this far and He's placed me in locations where I have learned so much and have developed beyond what I thought possible. Yeah, things have been painful at times. Yeah, sometimes life does suck. But, when it all boils down, each thing which has come my way has simply been the next step forward for me.

With this in mind, I have but one choice. I need to let go and lay all that I have; all my hopes, dreams, desires, anxiety, fears, at His feet. When I let go and trust Him, putting my faith in the promise that He will continue to guide me along through my life, I can find peace. And I can face that mysterious unknown hovering up ahead. I don't know what is in store. I can hope, but I don't know. I simply have to wait on Him and pursue with all my strength the roles He places before me.